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Every single guy girl relationship starts as an encounter between two people. In almost every culture it is the man’s responsibility to start the interaction. So since you are the responsible for your love life it is better that you start learning how to jump start it. The easiest places to meet single women are bars and clubs. Of course women excuse themselves and say when they go to a club that they just want to dance. But secretly they are seeking a mate, don’t let them fool you. They can dance at pilates class also, but they don’t.

Almost every bar and club is full with single girls who are hoping to meet that guy. You could be that guy, but beware of her friends. Gorgeous girls have always many friends besides them, and their friends are often jealous of their looks. So they try to sabotage her friends chance for love.

Usually when a girl in a club or a bar sees a guy she wants to be with she sends him all kinds of subtle signals. The number one signal is standing close to a guy she likes. That way he can easily approach her. If that does not work girl will smile at a guy, look at him all the time and sometimes she will even start the conversation first. She will usually say something relating to the situation. Your mission is to get to know more about these subtle ways that girls show interest for guys. Actually it’s very easy to spot it, if you know what are you spotting..

When you develop these kind of skills you will easily pick the girls that are interested in you right from the start. No more tedious approaches and rejections. By knowing what girls are interested you have the upper hand and you did not even do anything. Use these girls signals to your advantage.

Some dude from yahoo answers had a cool question. Now, its obvious he hasnt taken my secret quiz, but ignore that, and focus on his question, and how I answer it.

Question:

Since a man can go to jail for approaching a woman for sex, then why are women exempt from doing the same? For example: A woman goes into a strip club and has sex with some of the male strippers. so what is the difference between women approaching men and men approaching women? why do men go to jail for it but not women?

My answer:

Very good point indeed. There also isn’t any law against raping a man. It’s how our society was made long time ago.

Up until a few decades ago, women were perceived as non-sexual being, used just for making babies. In our society, it’s okay for a man to express his sexual needs and be as needy as possible about. You can even see it on movies when a man says “Hey, I have my needs, you know!”. You never hear a woman say that. Women are not supposed to like sex in our society. That’s why you rarely hear of cases when a woman initiates sex with a man in an aggressive way.

Also, feminism has made it that every man is a potential rapist of women. This is why when girls look for dorms, they usually post the sign that they are specifically looking for a female companion.

If a woman approached you for sex, and if you told the police, she could easily turn it around that you tried to rape her!

Maybe all of this will change in a few decades, since some things have already changed in the past decades.

Some dude from yahoo answers had a cool question. Now, its obvious he hasnt taken my secret quiz, but ignore that, and focus on his question, and how I answer it.

Question:

approaching women…? I dont have a problem approaching women under what I call “comfortable” circumstances, which is usually, knowing the girl might be interested in me, or cold approaching if im feeling unusually confident (and the girl is on her own or just with another girlfriend). However, this has not aided me at all of late, as I am single…and HATING IT!…I want a relationship, and am just struggling to meet women who are prospects. Now, I often see girls out who are in the company of guys, maybe a guy they are dating maybe not, so my question is, How would you women react, if you was approached in a bar, and the guy you were with was maybe in the bathroom or something? (maybe hes a guy your dating, maybe not)…Would you give the stranger a chance, or disregard him completely? I mean, lets face it, MOST girls out there today know and hang around with guys, and therefore I never even consider talking to these girls, even if I may like them.

My answer:

I don’t understand one thing. You said you rarely approach women, and now you want to know how to approach women that are with guys.

Look, it is possible to approach a woman that’s with a guy like you mentioned, but it’s too much hassle. Why don’t you rather work on approaching women that are alone or with another girl? You will most commonly see girls that are either alone or with other girls. Focus on those targets. It’s much easier than with a guy. If she is with a guy, you never know who the guy is, and even if he is a friend, the girl might act differently than when she is alone. Alone are your best targets.

So, approach more women in those comfortable situations, like when she is already looking at you. You can also approach them cold, which is a little harder. You have so many options to choose before you choose to approach the one with the guy.

Some dude from yahoo answers had a cool question. Now, its obvious he hasnt taken my secret quiz, but ignore that, and focus on his question, and how I answer it.

Question:

Has anyone read the art of approaching by joseph matthews? Its a relationship E-Book, I was reading about it but I am not sure if it would be worth the .00. any one here read it or know about it? Is it worth the money?

My answer:

Actually, it’s not a relationship book. I have read it, and it’s totally not worth it. If you are a guy who is really not successful with women, then his openers in the book won’t help you at all. On the other hand, if you are already somewhat successful with women, you don’t need his book because it mostly contains ways that you can start conversations with women.

If you can’t start a conversation with a woman by saying “Hey, I’m John, and I would like to meet you”, then you have a problem with confidence. Address the symptom first (confidence), then the lines of what to say will come to you.

Joseph Matthews is not a guy who is particularly successful with women. He is only good at getting phone numbers and extracting a few dates from them. And you can do the same with much a much easier method, like the introduction above. Don’t get tricked by the methods of the Seduction Community. They all promise the same.

Some dude from yahoo answers had a cool question. Now, its obvious he hasnt taken my secret quiz, but ignore that, and focus on his question, and how I answer it.

Question: What are some of their main concerns? Rejection? Not wanting to sound desperate or pushy? What else runs in a man’s mind when he is thinking of approaching a woman?

Answer:

Are you kidding me? Most men would rather go to war in Iraq than approach a women which they don’t know!

The concerns are countless, although most of them are completely irrational. Some main concerns are actually hard-wired and evolutionary. Approaching a strange women will trigger fear of violence in most men. They will literary feel that they might be in great danger when approaching a woman. This is actually normal.

After that is the second biggest concern, rejection. Rejection is more of a conscious concern than the previous one, which is mostly unconscious.  And you also have the fear of success sometimes. But this is more with men who have less experience with women.

A lot of times there is a fear that the interaction with the woman might be awkward, which hurts more than the actual rejection.

Let me illustrate it for you. When a sober man decides that he’s going to approach a women that he doesn’t know, his mind starts racing immediately with dozens of thoughts and excuses.

The main point is that the fear of approaching a strange woman is so strong that 90% of men don’t do it, at least not when they are sober.

Some dude from yahoo answers had a cool question. Now, its obvious he hasnt taken my secret quiz, but ignore that, and focus on his question, and how I answer it.

Question: I have it easy with men, they usually approach u but with women I have been to nervous to anything. What ideas can yall give me?

Answer: I got a few quick, explosive and super-important tricks for you:

1) Hello-old-friend trick

This is where you pretend you’ve known her for a loooong time. You literally approach her as-if she’s an old buddy of yours. An acquaintance since way-back-when… a long lost friend or a neighbour from your old neighbourhood you grew up with. You literally wanna put yourself into that mindset, and approach her as if you already know her.

2) Be yourself

YES, a cliche that sounds so lame. I used to hate it when women gave out this advice. But its because I didn’t understand it. What this means is don’t TRY to be something. Don’t approach her and TRY to impress her, or struggle to find cool interesting things to say. Just relax… Be yourself. Talk as you would to a close male friend or acquaintance. Just be “normal”. Another way to translate the “be yourself” advice is “just be normal”. Don’t try to do anything fancy or cool or weird or interesting or special… Just be normal. Have a normal human-to-human conversation.

Some girl from yahoo answers had a cool question. Now, its obvious she’s taking about guys who haven’t taken my secret quiz, but ignore that, and focus on her question, and how I answer it.

Question:

Im female dont let the avatar fool you…

If me and some friends go out the only guys brave enough to approach us are the most ghetto guys on the planet. And we aren’t ghetto females…we all work, go to school and some have families. We dont dress like hoochies either

Do ghetto guys have more confidence or something? They are the only ones brave enough to approach women

Answer:

Well, some sensitive folks aren’t going to like how you phrased the question, but I know EXACTLY why you mean. This is true in any modern country, in any group. Ever notice how the respectful, polite, good guys don’t approach women and stand in the corner, and its the loudmouth disrespectful guys who always seem to approach?

The reason for this is something called misandry that our western society has been going through for a few decades. Men have been shamed, guilted, attacked and called all kinds of names as a gender. Look at whole sexual-harassment mess. Men are being taught to fear and be ashamed of their own sexuality and interest in women. So the kinds of guys who LIKE and RESPECT women are also the ones who don’t want to offend women, so they stay back and don’t approach. Why? Because we’ve been taught that’s intrusive, jerky, perverted etc… And these respective guys, when they do eventually approach a woman, no matter how respective get shut down and slammed with a cold-rejection… so they decide to never do it again.

The guys who GENUINELY disrespect and don’t care about women, are also the ones who don’t care about whether an approach is disrespectful, so they’re the ones who always approach. That’s why most guys who approach women are of the disrespectful variety. Unfortunately, the same women who created the problem (man-bashing special interest groups that I won’t name) are now instead of acknowledging the problem, bashing men even more. They’re calling the respectful guys “wimps” and investing theories such as “nice guys are intimidated of  strong, independent women”… No we’re not, we’ve just been taught by YOU that so much as being interest in a woman is disrespectful and potentially sexual harassment. In fact, we respect and like women so much that we’d rather err on the side of not approaching when you’re interested, rather than “disrespecting you” by approaching when you’re not interested. Its time those groups took credit for causing the issue and overstating the case and creating legions of good guys who don’t approach women.

NOW, if you are a guy reading this, do note what things are from a woman perspective, and see how it makes things clear for you, you can now better understand why women react how they react when approached and why you’ve feared approaching them most of your life. It also explains why most women end up with jerks. They are the only ones approaching them! She’s basically most of the time choosing between one jerk or another.

Here is a nice article by some guy who obviously hasnt taken my secret quiz. The article is ok, it has some good points, and you might find it useful if you have already taken the quiz yourself.

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One of the hardest things about attracting women is to becoming comfortable with approaching them.

If you’re like most men, just THINKING about walking up to a woman and initiating a conversation can be quite terrifying.

So what should you do?

It’s simple- the best way to learn how to approach women is to APPROACH THEM!

Yes, I know it sounds simple. But many guys don’t ever take that first step. All they do is stress out over what to say or try learning the ‘perfect’ routine. Instead of memorizing routines or reading tons of books, you’ll get the best results by practicing your approaches.

Here’s why…

Think of when you were in your high school Driver’s Education class trying to learn how to drive an automobile. For hours the teacher would drone on about safety and the rules of the road. After awhile you thought you knew everything about driving until you got behind the wheel.

Then you suddenly realized that driving was A LOT harder then you thought. At first you were nervous, but eventually you learned how to drive really well (Hopefully).

Learning how to approach women is the same thing!

It’s a skill that can be only learned through repetitive experiences. If you approach enough women, you’ll start to learn what works and what doesn’t.

Now I know you’re probably nervous about the thought of being rejected or laughed at. If so, I’ll let you on a little secret…

Every guy worries about this! Anybody who tells you different is lying to you.

Don’t look at rejection as a bad thing. Instead think of it as a learning experience that will help you grow as a man. By being rejected you’ll start to learn what DOESN’T work. Eventually you’ll stumble on techniques which WILL work. Then being rejected will be worth it.

So when should you start approaching women?

The answer is NOW!

As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, guys waste too much of their valuable time sitting around learning how to succeed of women instead of trying out these theories themselves.

So I urge you to try to approach at least a few girls a day. You can ask them for the time, compliment them on something they’re wearing or ask them a question. No matter what you say, just get out there and try something!

If you still can’t think of what to say when you approach a woman, write some ideas down beforehand.

Bottom line- If you train yourself to approach multiple women in EVERY day, you’ll start to develop your skills at attracting women and will virtually eliminate your fear of rejection.

Hey dude, I got another confession here. Its true, I used to be one of those guys too! I used to be completely and utterly unable to approach a woman. I mean you could tell me that you’ll give me a ferrari as a reward if I finally got the balls to talk to one woman… And I still wouldn’t have done it!

Today however… I am at the point where I tend to go out, have a blast fun social night out… And by the time I come back home, I can’t even count all the people I met. How did this happen? Well, I had to go through a certain process of transformation. The bad news is it took me a decade and trying out thousands of different little things. The good news? You don’t have to! In fact, I’m here to shorten the journey for you by showing you only the stuff that works! This is why I invented this site and the quiz yo!

Think about it though – get your mind straight

If you think women would be offended or react badly to an approach… Just think, have you ever had a woman stare at you from across the room? Ever had a woman hit on you or show you interest in some form? It felt good, didn’t it? It didn’t matter if she was your type or if you even liked her at all! Any showing of interest is flattering!

BUT… Why are so many women know to complain about men approaching them, or not liking a certain approach? Well, the main issue is not the showing of interest, but something called CREEPINESS. If a woman dislikes an approach its not because a stranger showed interest! Its because he was either threatening or creepy.

Let me give you an obvious example

Imagine being lost in a foreign town and GENUINELY asking around for directions. Does anyone respond badly? Even the hottest of the hottest women are super friendly and helpful. This is an obvious example of a situation where you’re not likely to be at all threatening or creepy.

Now here’s where the issue starts… Its when you are interested in a girl, and do want to show interest… Its easy to overstep the line and be creepy… But in order for you to not overstep the line, you have to know what is “creepy”. What is this thing that women label “creepy”?

Well its all about the outcome dude

If you see a hot girl and you’re like “Oh wow, she’s so super hot, I must have her now, and oh wow, I am going to go up there and say some things and make her like me… and and make her come back to my house for sex” or “I have to get her number, oh wow, I just have to get her number” —> THIS is creepy.

Women are literally biologically programmed to feel threatened by a guy who has a “backhanded intent”. Like… If he approaches with a goal before he’s even talked to her. Now, for the most part its unjustified, because the guy is simply shy and doesn’t know better. But in her mind, its the same as being a potential rapist or stalker. I know its weird, but you have to have compassion for women’s natural defense systems. They’ve evolved for very good reasons. They’re there to protect her.

So what’s the solution?

Now, from what I said above, I might have scared you away… But fear not, as its really simple! The only thing you have to do is not have a goal other than socializing! I mean, go back to the example I gave you… where you are GENUINELY lost, and you genuinely just want directions – not one single woman will find you creepy.

The same will happen if you GENUINELY only have the goal of just introducing yourself, being social, and getting to know her, with no backhanded intent.

Four exercises to help out

Over the years I’ve developed 4 GREAT exercises that allow even the scarediest, scared guy to approach any girl, anywhere, and get a great reaction. Now, the point of these exercises is to get used to women reacting great to your approach so you get used to women being nice to you. Eventually you want to approach women with an actual social approach, such as introducing yourself. These 4 exercises are just crutches.

1) Hey Maria!! – This is where you see some cute girl on the street… You run up to her and you’re like… “Heeeeeeey maria, how ya been”… When she turns in confusion, you go “Oh, sorry, I mistook you for someone”… About 99.999999999% of women will respond with a huge smile as if though you’d just given them a compliment. Just apologize and leave. This is you getting used to being non-creepy when approaching women and seeing how nice women are.

2) Exit-Compliment – As you’re exiting some place, like say a club or a gallery or whatever… On the way out, just run by a girl and say “I am leaving now, but before I left I just had to say you’re really attractive”… It can be any compliment really as long as its genuine. The key to this one is to genuinely be leaving, and really say this with an “I’m leaving” body-language. Don’t even give them time to respond. Just say it, and leave. What will happen is that the exact moment you start leaving, women will (99.9%) react well and be flattered, some might even follow you! The reason this happens, is that because you are sincerely leaving, you can not have that creepy energy of being a potential stalker, sticking around and just hanging on her.

3) Approach for a friend – This is where a friend of yours mentions he finds some girl cute. You immediately go up to her, and you say “Hey, my friend finds you cute, what do you think? Should I introduce you two?” This works best if she happens to not be your type AT ALL. This way you will genuinely be 100% not-creepy. Almost all girls will be super-friendly to you, and you’ll get used to hot girls being friendly to your approach.

Once you’ve done the three exercises enough many times, you’ll start losing your fear of approaching women!

By now you will have also gained the calibration to how to not be creepy. The trick is not WANTING anything out of HER. Its about not wanting to HAVE her from the very first word. When you get used to this (with those 3 exercises where you focus on something else other than wanting her)… You can approach directly. In this case, you approach with the focus of “I just want to introduce myself, be social, and see what she’s like”. If you two hit it off and it goes into something more, that’s cool. If it doesn’t and you just end up as friends, that’s also cool!

Here is a nice article by some guy who obviously hasnt taken my secret quiz. The article is ok, it has some good points, and you might find it useful if you have already taken the quiz yourself.

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The first 30 seconds: 10 mistakes almost every guy makes

As a veteran pickup coach, I’ve seen it all.

I’ve seen guys who were short, scrawny, and nerdy-looking walk into a club and leave with the hottest girl in the place.

I’ve seen good-looking, confident guys freeze up when I told them to approach, and then hide from me the rest of the night!

What I want to talk about today are the common mistakes I see when guys approach women.

Those first thirty seconds of conversation with a woman are crucial, and one mistake can ruin your chances of getting anywhere with her.

Now not every approach is going to be perfect – in fact NO approach will ever be, so give up on trying to be perfect.

One thing I always tell guys is that I’m not the most fancy pickup artist, but I do the basics EXTREMELY well.

But what are these basics?

I know how confusing it can be when you read all the material out there – from books, to forum posts, to seminars…

Sometimes I think average guys have it easy because they don’t know how ignorant they are!

Guys who are trying to get better with women often suffer from paralysis of analysis – they have TOO MUCH information.

This can lead to all sorts of problems – the main one being that they don’t take action.

I know how that feels, believe me.

I struggled for a long time with too much information.

And then I let it all go, and had to start my journey all over again, learning completely on my own.

But you know what? I’m glad I did.

And now I feel it’s not only a great way to make a living, it’s my RESPONSIBILITY to share what I’ve learned with guys who are struggling in this arena.

So let me give you a rundown of the 10 most common mistakes I see guys making when they first approach a woman – and this isn’t just students – this applies to regular guys I observe when I go out.

1. He gives her a lame compliment

This is how most guys open – they say something typical, generic, and overly-approving, like

“You’re hot” or “you’re so beautiful” or “you’re the hottest girl I’ve ever seen.”

Now don’t get me wrong, I like to be direct, and I like giving women compliments.

But I make it specific, and I talk more about myself and what I think, rather than “what she is.”

For example, “that’s some laugh you got there…I heard you from across the bar.”

2. He does her a favor, like buying her a drink

The most common thing guys do is offer to buy a woman a drink.

The only time I’ll do this is if I’m getting a round for my buddies, and there’s a woman I want to meet close by – I’ll get her one too.

This is fun, social, and is not too approval-seeking, since I’m already spending money on my friends.

Guys will usually do some kind of favor for a woman, like giving up their chair, or buying her a drink, taking a picture of her.

I REFUSE to take pictures, unless I’m in them.

You don’t want to be serving and appeasing her, EVER. Especially in the first 30 seconds.

3. He approaches from a bad angle, or speaking too quietly

These two might seem different, but they are really flip-sides of the same coing:

You are afraid of making your presence felt.

What kind of message do you think that sends to a woman?

The WRONG one – primarily that you lack self-esteem and you probably suck in bed.

Walk right up to her and speak loudly – make her feel you!

4. He has bad eye contact

Some guys really struggle with eye contact, but it’s one of the main things women look for.

A man who can look her in the eye and not flinch is essentially saying,

“I’m not afraid of you – I’m interested in you. I am offering something wonderful to you, and I fully intend on giving it to you if you want it.”

5. He’s drunk and sloppy

There’s kind of a double standard here.

Women often get really drunk and sloppy when they go out.

But if a drunk guy approaches them, he’s toaster strudel.

It just looks bad when a man is out of control of himself – and this is exactly the main purpose alcohol serves – to make you lose self-control.

6. He doesn’t own his space

This is a really subtle sticking but a LOT of guys have it.

When you stand or sit, you want to own your space, meaning you don’t want to confine your body to accommodate others.

Acquiescing to others physically is a sure-fire way to show a woman that you are scared, weak, and insecure.

You don’t have to sit with your arms spread out, or stand like a military sergeant.

You should be physically comfortable, and not hold your body in to accommodate other people – especially other guys.

7. He stalls out because he’s trying to say the right thing

This is HUGE – the most common mistake guys make.

I harp on this in just about every newsletter, but I can’t say it enough…

Women are screening for one thing – are you trying to say the right thing to GET something from her?

They can tell so easily, because it’s the main thing they are looking for.

And guess what – this focus does NOT serve you.

Not only does it make you look like you’re trying to get something (getting in bed) from her, it also stops your mind from flowing.

Here’s why.

We don’t even know what’s on the mind of the another person.

So when you try to say the right thing, you’re second-guessing what that person wants to hear.

It’s almost always impossible, and will only stump you.

Stop trying to be smooth and say the right thing!

8. He doesn’t address her friends

A woman’s friends take top priority, at first.

Woman usually have lots of very fickle, short-lived friendships.

One second they’ll declare “this is my GIRL! I LOVE her!”

The next day, it’s “oh my god she’s such a bitch, I’m over it.”

But in front of a guy she’s just met, she has to put her friends first.

And if you try to talk to her without at least acknowledging her friends and being friendly to them, you’ll look anti-social, and uncalibrated.

It will make everything awkward, and most likely her friends will drag her away.

9. He asks for her number too soon

A lot of times, guys will want to eject from the conversation because they don’t what else to talk about.

So they will just go for the number before it’s really appropriate.

I think of GIVING my phone number as a REWARD to her.

If she impresses me, I’ll decide that I like her enough to give her a call.

But you have to give her time to impress you – at least get her to express herself in some way that you can approve her for.

Theres one more piece here…

Don’t walk off right after she gives you her number – it makes you look like a player.

Talk about something you could do together, or just shoot the shit a little longer, then go back to your friends, or leave the venue.

10. He doesn’t touch her

What do you want with this woman?

A intimate relationship!

So move in that direction from the start.

I won’t get too much into it here.

That’s all for now, talk to you soon.