Let’s face it, no approaching, no conversation. No conversation, no relationship of any sort, one night or longer.

Whether you like it or not, it all begins with the approach. But here’s something I just did wrong. Its probably a mistake you do too. I just made the art of approaching this incredibly amazing magical god like thing that’s super important. Why is this a bad thing? Its a simple reason really, and kind of tricky.

The best way to screw up approaching is to be too tense or hung up about it. Wanting it to work too badly or being too attached to doing it right. I know it sounds all weird and woo-woo… But its actually true. The best way to be smooth at approaching is to be careless, like its the most normal, natural thing in the world.

So how do you achieve this feat?

There are really two ways to making the art of approaching effortless, easy and fun…

1) Lots of it, experience many cases of approaching until it becomes normal to you
2) Change your focus, change the expectations and mindset

I’ll tackle the second one first… You see, approaching always has the risk of turning creepy when you’re too hung up on scoring. If you see a cute girl and you’re like “Oh wow, I have to have her, I’ll approach her now, and say the right things”… You will creep her out most likely. The way to be smooth careless and cool when approaching is to make it feel like its no big deal. Your goal should be more like “I’m just being social and talking to people”. In other words, you’re not talking to this chick coz you’re trying to pick her up… You’re just being social and friendly.

I know it sounds ironic, because its opposite of what works in other areas in life. In other areas you set a goal and STRIVE for it, to get it. Well, women are not exactly like the rest of life. Here everything is lopsided. With women, you actually pick up MORE women by not HAVING to pick them up. When you just socialize for the sake of being a cool, fun, charming sexy guy… What happens is they find you attractive and then they WANT you to pick them up.

What really helps to make this genuine, is that you actually become a social, friendly guy. Its hard to fake or convince yourself that you’re just being social if you’re only talking to super hot chicks. So be social with EVERYONE. Talk to the uggies, talk to the neighbours, the old guy sellind the newspapers… Everyone really. So when you’re talking to a hot chick, she’s just the next PERSON you happen to be conversing with! This is how you tackle number one “experience many cases of approaching until it becomes normal to you”… By approaching everyone and everything.

But really dude there's no reason you should be confused about any of this. If you haven't taken the quiz to see how you stack up with women yet... Click here and see what your results are on the personal dating quiz.