I want to share a nice story with you. Its a story of how my friend went from zero to hero. Here’s a guy who used to be so shy that he would blush in the presence of women. I’m talking he couldn’t talk back to a woman even if she was giving him every sign in the book. He just felt “paralyzed” of the idea of approaching women. Where is he today? He can walk into any venue, any time, and within seconds he’s talking and being social to huge groups of women.
How did he do this? How did he master the art of approaching? Well, obviously I mentored him through it, and helped him along the way, but what is it that we SPECIFICALLY did to get hims these results? How can you use this knowledge yourself and get the same results? Well, there’s a few major things we did.
1) Set his beliefs about women straight
You see, he was confused by women’s complaints. You will often see women complaining about men being douchebags. This guy approached her too aggressively, this guy approached her too timidly, this guy was a dork, this other guy was too pushy, this guy was creepy and perverted. When you listen to those complains by women, its easy to think women are impossible to please. It almost seems like women don’t want to be approached, doesn’t it?
The truth? Women are complaining BECAUSE they’re not being approached. In fact, they feel insecure because of dry spells where they can’t meet a man. The actual funny irony of this is that, when she goes out, and doesn’t get approached, she thinks there’s something wrong with her! This makes her frustrated, and this is why she complains about the few men who do approach her. Most of them happen to be pushy wannabe-playas. She’s actually dreaming about being approached by a smooth, cool, normal guy! This is what makes her even more frustrated and mad about the bad-approachers, and why she feels the need to bash them all day. You need to see it as a cry for help, instead of a complaint that all men are evil.
If you don’t believe me, go to a woman’s forum, and see the amount of topics with women complaining how nobody will approach them! When you realize how much they crave being approached, the right way, this will reform your beliefs.
2) Approach with the right mindset
There is this magical shift of mindset… where if you perform this thing… you will approach in the perfect, exact way women will want to be approached in! Not only that, but you will find approaching to be extremely easy, effortless and you’ll fear not one part of it… What is this trick? Its simple, just change your outcome! Instead of seeing a cute girl and being like “Oh wow, she’s cute, I need to approach her, get her number and pick her up”. This is what causes stress! This is what makes approaching a stressful though! You put too much pressure on yourself.
Want to know the even worse thing? When you do approach with this outcome in mind, you actually act and come off as “pushy”, “creepy” or even “perverted”. I won’t go into details why, but just trust me on this… Its the major reason women complain about guys’ approaches. So what’s the solution? Make your only outcome or mindset “I am just being social!”.
Too simple to work? That’s because you haven’t tried it! For this to work, you have to 100% actually believe it. You are now the “social guy”. You talk to everyone, and just get to know them. You talk equally to unattractive girls, attractive girls, the old guy in the elevator or the janitor at work. You’re just “a social guy”. What happens then? When you do approach a woman in this social way, she actually feels relaxed, cool and calm. She doesn’t feel threatened, creeped out or any of that. She just become social… and when she does, if things are right, she will hit on YOU. She will show you the signs its time to flirt.
So have the patience to take things slowly. You don’t have to hit on a woman from second 0. Let her go through her process of deciding she wants to be flirted with. Take the 5-10 minutes to get to know her, and you will find she hits on you first. After this, you’re off to the races.
But really dude there's no reason you should be confused about any of this. If you haven't taken the quiz to see how you stack up with women yet... Click here and see what your results are on the personal dating quiz.
