Here is another cool question from yahoo answers. Check it out and see if it resonates with you.
I dont have a problem approaching women under what I call “comfortable” circumstances, which is usually, knowing the girl might be interested in me, or cold approaching if im feeling unusually confident (and the girl is on her own or just with another girlfriend). However, this has not aided me at all of late, as I am single…and HATING IT!…I want a relationship, and am just struggling to meet women who are prospects. Now, I often see girls out who are in the company of guys, maybe a guy they are dating maybe not, so my question is, How would you women react, if you was approached in a bar, and the guy you were with was maybe in the bathroom or something? (maybe hes a guy your dating, maybe not)…Would you give the stranger a chance, or disregard him completely? I mean, lets face it, MOST girls out there today know and hang around with guys, and therefore I never even consider talking to these girls, even if I may like them.
Thanks.
(BTW, im not interested in dating agencies)
My quick answer to this question:
I have the simplest answer in meeting many women… Many high quality women, anywhere you go. Yep, even those girls in the streets, malls… anything. Its my super-duper-magic-secret-technique.
What is it? Its simple. Don’t be a stranger. Now, there ARE ways to get proficient at just “hitting on” strangers in public… But there’s just no need… and often it just annoys some. There’s a much better “strategy” some guys who have amazing success with women have applied… They call it “being the mayor”.
Now WHAT THE HECK would that be? Sounds funny, right? Its simple… It’s becoming the super social guy who approaches and talks to everyone. Imagine walking down the supermarket aisle, and having people running up and greeting you, the storeclerks all seem to know you… and THEN, you talk to this grandma picking fruits… and then you engage the hot girl next to her.
What do you think the hot girl thinks of you now? Does she find you creepy? NO WAY. You’re the cool social guy. You’re just getting to know and being social with everyone. You’re not hitting on her, she’s just another person you’re saying hi to. She’s guaranteed to be super-friendly and receptive to you. Since you’re not a random creepy guy trying to pick up a “chick” in a store.
Another quick tip. Join as many social clubs and activities as you can afford or have time for. I mean dance classes, yoga, language classes… And JUST befriend the people there. Go out and socialize with them.
Imagine walking into a club accompanied by 10 girls who love and respect you? You’ll get to meet more women than you can have time to sort through.
But really dude there's no reason you should be confused about any of this. If you haven't taken the quiz to see how you stack up with women yet... Click here and see what your results are on the personal dating quiz.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
You sound like your trying to pick up girls in bars and that isn’t the greatest place to be doing it. Your’re way over thinking this. When your out and you see a girl you like if your polite and ask her if she’s with anyone than you shouldn’t get yourself into hot water even if she has a boyfriend. You need to be ready for anything. If she doesn’t have a boyfriend than i’d advise you to give her your number and invite her out later if she’s interested away from alot of people and the crazyiness of a bar. Take her some place fun and take her out to eat. DONT TRY TO BE WITH HER THAT NIGHT especially when drinking. It will show her you respect her.
Also try getting involved in clubs or sports or classes where you want to learn more about something you like to do. Than you’ll meet someone with the same interests as you. If your always looking for it you’ll never find it so relax and have fun and prepare your life for a relationship- but you need to have all your sh$t together first- GOOD LUCK!
Good that you can cold convo with someone. I just make it a point to ask if she’s single right off the bat, because both of us know what I’m up to when I start the conversation, so there’s no reason to hold anything back. If she’s got a boyfriend, say “Okay, nice to meet you,” or whatever, and then move on to the next one. That’s what I do.
Should’ve specified that you just wanted females to answer in your question/subject thing. But seriously dude, any girl who already has a boyfriend and is in the same building that would decide then to forget him and go with you, is probably not worth it, because that means she’s disloyal. (Of course if the guy is an *** then that’s different)
Watch how the girl is interacting with the guys she is with. If she is tight with one of them. They may be dating. We sometimes go out with our guy friends as a safety net. That way we look unavailable so guys don’t approach us, that way giving us a chance to scope things out and pick someone we are interested in. We even go so far as wearing wedding bands. Trust me sometimes has the opposite effect.
This makes it difficult for you guys to know, whether we are available or not. Best to stick to girls that are out with the girls. Or just scope out the situation. If they aren’t kissing, holding hands or any PDA. Then take a chance. Asks her to dance. Good luck. We don’t make it easy. Sorry.
One of the worse places to meet women is at a bar. They travel in packs, have their defenses up… you have to not only impress her, but all of her friends. And, if you’re lucky enough to break the ice, it’s not like she’s going to leave with you because she came with all of her friends. If she’s with a guy, the guy will act as her protector if he’s not with her…s o it can be tough. The best place to meet women is at wedding or other friendly social function. Weddings help put women in a happy and romantic mind-set, often they are there alone and can get caught up in the moment. They are more trusting of the men in the room because it’s likely the men are friends of the bride or groom. If you can be in a situation, like a friend’s cook-out, where you can approach someone casually and just get to know each other a little… then you have a better chance of making a new friend and possible partner.
Just like you, girls can be uncomfortable in the singles scene. If they feel uncomfortable, then they are not going to be very open to any strangers approaching them with obvious intentions. If you really want to meet someone and have a relationship on the mind then here is my advice. First, if you’re too desperate a woman will sense that and avoid you. They need to trust you and feel comfortable with you. You need to be subtle and gain their trust. Maybe you meet them one time and just introduce yourself… But don’t crowd them or talk too much. Just plant some seeds of friendship. The next time you see them they will feel a little more comfortable with you and you can talk a little longer, maybe exchange phone numbers. Maybe there is a way to invite her and her friends to a party… some way to keep her feeling comfortable. Then maybe work up to an exclusive date and the first date should be casual so she doesn’t feel pressured… maybe coffee. Also, women like a man that has it together (confident, successful, clean, easy to talk to) and can sense that about you. You need to relax and not have any expectations… It’s good to do the things you like to do in life and maybe you’ll find a woman that travels in the same circles and likes to do the same kind of activities. Sex is easy and love is hard, but love is way more fulfilling and long lasting.
Good luck.